there are nights

There are nights when you just don't want to go home. Nights that are made to walk in a sleeping city. Sometimes alone sometimes with someone by your side. Most of the time these are winter or spring nights. This week it happend to me two times with two different co-travellers. Both of the time I returned home but I felt the night and I wasn't able to fall asleep. I think that I just wanted to keep walking with the freezing air coming up and the silence. It's an indescrivable emotion of quiet and like a deja-vu. How difficult it is for me to share this with my co-traveller...I think they didn't realize I wasn't there anymore. How cool if they felt the same. 

I felt in this way for the first time sometime ago...the words you wrote to me are still here in my room...I almost forgot them. Today I read something again, the ink is starting disappear. And I remember. May I think it's all connected? I don't know. It seams a long time ago but I know that it's not due to the real time, there are only a few years in between that time and now...I think it's me. Some life ago, another one. Who may say? It's the whole week that I have felt as if I am not in my body anymore...it's like walking and living but seeing myself from apart. I don't completly realize what happend. This could be the reason why I'm not sleeping soon...as years ago and why I embrace the night. The time of possibilities. There is no new wind in these days...only a bit the snow's smell...but it's like I'm ready to go again. It has to be a really strange period if, also without the wind, I would like to go and change again.